Firm 1.1Firm 1.2Firm 2Hands off 1.1Hands off 1.2Hands off 2Permissive 1.1Permissive 1.2Permissive 2Balanced 1.1Balanced 1.2Balanced 2Connection / CommunicationValuesEmail HeaderThank you for taking the time to complete my parenting style questionnaire.Here's your individual report in the PDF attached, with some comments on what you're doing well, together with some parenting tips to add to your toolkit.Email FooterHere's to calmer parenting.Yours AyeElaine from The Parent Practicewww.theparentpractice.comQuestions and AnswersYour child refuses to eat their roast chicken dinner. Do you say…*"Shall I make you a cheese toastie instead? I don’t want you to go hungry"“Your choice, but you may wake up hungry in the middle of the night.”“Well, that’s all there is. If you don’t eat it, you’ll not get any pudding”.“Sounds to me as if you’re disappointed. Maybe you were hoping it was pizza night instead?”Please note: On some questions, you may need to imagine your children at a different age. This field is required.You go into your child’s room and all you see is a floordrobe. Do you…*Put all the items on the floor in a black bin bag. They need to learn to take care of their possessions.Heave a big sigh. Leave the room and close the door. You can’t be bothered to have a battle.Call a family meeting. Revisit the bedroom rules and help them be more organised.Tidy up the room. Put dirty clothes in the laundry basket. It’s easier and simpler to do it yourself.This field is required.Your child is gaming and refuses to come off the PC when their time limit is up. Do you…..*Let them continue to play. It does no harm connecting with their online friends.Think “I can’t control their gaming. At least they’re occupied and not causing me any hassle."Turn off the internet, thinking that will teach them not to observe the rule.Validate feelings by letting them know how hard it is to stop doing what they love and ask what the rule is re gaming?This field is required.Your child leaves the dinner table without saying thank you or clearing their plate. Do you…*Shout at them to “come back right now and show some respect."Not notice. Your parents were not hot on table manners.Tidy up after them.Praise them and mention they’ve followed 4 out of 5 mealtime rulesThis field is required.Your child wants to give up guitar lessons after just one month, having badgered you for ages to have lessons. Do you…*Lecture them about the cost, and how they need to persevere in order to succeed in life.Think you should never have started music lessons in the first place.Agree and ask "Do you want to try another instrument?” Find out why and remind them of the rule that they give it at least one term, before making any decision.This field is required.Your child says they don’t want to go to school today Do you say…*“Maybe you need a duvet day at home with Mummy?”“Well, I have to go to work, so you need to decide now if you’re going to school or not”."Hmm…sounds to me as if something isn’t quite right. I know how much you love school, so I guess you’re feeling worried or upset about something”“I really don’t want to hear your whining. Going to school is not optional, whether you like it or not."This field is required.How do you teach your child to be safe with money?*I give them a weekly allowance/pocket money and help them learn to save, spend and share.It's not something I've thought about.My child can ask me for money any time they need anything.I decide what their allowance is and what they spend it on. No negotiation.This field is required.What are your views on your child having a mobile phone?*It’s a right of passage. Of course they can have a mobile phone.All their friends have the latest i-phone, so it seems unfair to give them anything different.They'll get a mobile phone on transition to secondary school, together with a digital contract.It’s essential, as I need to track where they are at all times. They’ll have no access to the internet when outside the home.This field is required.Your child finishes their homework but it’s not their best effort. Do you ...*Insist they redo the work otherwise, they can just forget screen time for the rest of the week.Ignore it, thinking it’s their decision. They only have themselves to blame if they fail.Just leave it, thinking the poor lamb….they’re so exhausted when they come in from school.Praise them for what they have completed and say “as soon as you’ve made 3 improvements, you’ve earned your screen time” This field is required.Do you have clear rules on what clothes your child wears?*They can wear whatever they want - their body, their choice.I love my children to be well dressed and buy whatever they ask for.We have clear rules about what’s appropriate to wear and when.I say what they wear and when. Little room for any negotiation as I’m the boss around here.This field is required.What would you do if you found out your child was being bullied at school?*Phone the parents of the child who's bullying and give them a piece of my mind.Advise my child to stand up for themselves and give as good as they get.Go straight to the school and insist they sort this out. Ask to see their anti-bullying policy.Listen to my child about how upsetting this is and problem solve.This field is required.What are your views on a 16-year-old going to a music festival, after their exams?*Nothing wrong with it - it’s a right of passage for them to head off after so much studying.No way! If they want to go, I am going with them to keep an eye on things.Well….all their friends are going and they deserve some downtime. It would be unfair for me to say No.I am happy for them to go to a music festival when they’re a little older and wiser. I will explore with them an alternative and listen to how they feel.This field is required.SegmentationWhat would you be willing to do right now, to support your children’s confidence and contentment and feel more successful as a parent?*I’m not sure.My life is pretty busy, but I could commit to 5-10 minutes a day learning positive parenting tips.I want to invest in my family’s future and explore options, such as 1-1 bespoke coaching.This field is required.Final Details*One final step before we email you through your PDF report which includes: Your Parenting Style... What your Parenting Style means Tips about your Parenting StyleYour personalised report will be emailed to you along with relevant tips supporting your score. View our Privacy Policy * * This field is required.Perosnality Type LowPerosnality Type HighPerosnality Type 1 CountPerosnality Type 2 CountPerosnality Type 3 CountPerosnality Type 4 CountTotal QuestionIdentify the lowest topic numberDo not edit me. Showing the {N} lowest Key Areas of Improvement LOWEST(N) ~> LOWEST(2) HIGHEST(N) ~> HIGHEST(2) AND Check to is Total number of Highest / Lowest keys wanted to show on Appearance tab OR: use MIN / MAX and check to is Identify the lowest topic number on Appearance tab 1 yes most2 yes most3 yes most4 yes mostThe Firm Parent General FeddbackYou have a Firm Parenting StyleFrom your answers, it appears you may be struggling or frustrated with your children’s behaviour, adopting an Authoritarian and Punitive parenting style.You may find yourself thinking “ I am the boss of this house. You need to listen to me, because I said so!”You tend to use the influence of your power and believe in a no nonsense approach, using threats and punishments, and may at times adopt the “naughty step” technique. Your children may either show rebellion and resentment, or be submissive.What you do well:You have a firm parenting style and understand the importance of setting limits and expectations.Positive Discipline is important to you because you want to bring up your child to have good habits and behaviours.You work hard to protect your child and keep them safe and secure.The Permissive Parent General FeddbackYou have a Permissive Parenting StyleFrom your answers, it appears you're doing OK in most areas, but could make improvements, as your parenting style swings like a pendulum between Authoritarian, o adopting an Indulgent and Overly Involved style of parenting.Sometimes you are lenient and inconsistent with rules, doing whatever it takes to keep your child happy. This can result in spoiling them, and then often feeling upset, declaring “ My child is so ungrateful and doesn’t appreciate all I do for them.”What you do well:You give your child a lot of love and warmth, and provide a nurturing environment, full of respect.You connect and communicate openly.You allow freedom of thought and expression.The Hands off Parent General FeddbackYou have a Hands Off Parent StyleFrom your answers, it appears you adopt a Passive and Absentee approach to parenting. This is not as harsh as it sounds, but is less than ideal. You probably feel overwhelmed, lead a very busy life, and end up prioritising your own needs, as you believe children learn by doing it themselves.You may inadvertently end up neglecting your child’s physical and emotional needs and appear disengaged as a parent. You may find yourself thinking “Do what you want, as long as you leave me in peace to do my work.” This can be damaging to a child’s emotional development and self-esteem, so you need to consider becoming more involved in your child's life, above and beyond just fulfilling the basic duties expected of you.What you do well:You love your child and believe competence breeds confidence.You place a high value on independence and self-reliance.You strongly beleive in the importance of a child thinking and acting for themselves.The Balanced Parent General FeddbackYou have a Balanced Parenting StyleFrom your answers, it appears you're doing really well and adopting a Balanced Authoritative and Democratic style of parenting.You're in charge positively, firmly and consistently. You offer a lot of understanding and support and give some autonomy and independence to your child.Yours is a loving relationship based on mutual respect, and whilst you know you have a sound parenting toolkit, you are open to adding more skills and strategies.What you do well:You nurture a relationship based on a mutual respect between parent and child.You show love, warmth and interest.You connect and communicate openly and listen well.You are clear on your values and set reasonable limits.You enforce boundaries and deliver consequences, firmly and consistently, but also positively.Key Area 1The Firm Parent1. Don’t focus on the negative When your child doesn’t listen to you it’s easy to nag, repeat, remind and criticise which puts our attention in the wrong place. This is called the negativity bias and you need to notice and comment when the children are doing the right thing. This is a much more effective way of getting cooperation than focusing on negative behaviour.Create a more nurturing and warm atmosphere by verbally expressing your love for your child through descriptive praise and affection.2. Deliver relevant and meaningful consequences Positive discipline, delivered calmly, is designed to help your children learn how to behave without lowering their self-esteem. Using the naughty step is counterproductive and doesn’t enable your child to learn from his mistakes. It’s a form of punishment that’s often delivered in anger, judgement and criticism and makes a child feel bad. No learning takes place and often leads to more misbehaviour.Depending on what rule is broken, make sure the consequence is relevant and meaningful to the misbehaviour so that every mistake is a teaching opportunity. Otherwise you will find your child may become more rebellious and resentful.3. Be an Emotion Coach for your childHow your child feels, influences how they behave. All behaviour has a cause and an emotion is often at the root of it. You can help your children understand and manage their emotions, by accepting all their feelings are valid. Your child then becomes more emotionally intelligent and more emotionally regulated.Name the feelings to tame them e.g. “You look really sad/ frustrated/ angry just now” or “It sounds like you are really upset about that”.So, listen and validate your child’s feelings, even though you may not agree. This helps keep the lines of communication open.Key Area 2The Permissive Parent1. Support your children to be more independent and self-reliantSelf-reliant children are able to do things for themselves, including their own thinking, problem-solving and managing their emotions. If you do too much for your children, they develop learned helplessness and a sense of entitlement, lose confidence and become risk-averse.Don’t automatically answer your child’s questions. Instead, encourage them to work it out or say “Take a guess.” If your child says “Do I have to clear up my toys now?” you can reply “What’s the rule about that” or “What do you think.” But don’t be tempted to tidy up the toys for them, because it’s quicker and easier.So, think about what tasks around the house you can give to your child, to help them be more independent in action and thought and more self-reliant. Remember competence breeds confidence. 2. Values are caught not taughtWork out what’s important to you, the strongly held beliefs that guide you. These are your values. These give you a clear vision of how you want your family to be, so you can create family rules. Children learn our values or behaviours when we practice them, not from being told. Children see, children do.Sit down with your family and explore what makes “Our Family way of life”. Create a family mission statement about the things that are important to you and from that create rules.E.g. If family togetherness is important then a rule may be “Leave electronics in the drop zone at meal time.” So, actively work out what your values are so you can create clear rules.3. Be firm with your boundaries and consequences Agree rules between parents, and given consistency is important, there may need to be some compromise. Demonstrate that actions have consequences without punishment, disapproval or threats, as this helps children learn to take responsibility for their behaviour.Ask the children – what rule do we need here? Frame the rules positively e.g. “Scooters outside”, is more effective than “no scooters inside” as our brains can’t visualise negatives. Be specific, so not “be polite”, but “please ask before you leave the table”. When children follow the rule acknowledge that, and when they don’t, know your consequence, e.g a privilege that hasn’t been earned.So, actively provide more positive discipline and be firmer and more consistent in setting your boundaries.Key Area 3The Hands off Parent1. Provide warmth and loveFocus on what they’re getting right, and start to notice and mention small steps in the right direction. Identify the quality shown by the behaviour. Acknowledge effort, improvement and strategies, not results. According to the Gottman Institute, we need to hear 5 positives for each negative comment in order to build a good relationship between parent and child. Positive comments also help children feel good and be motivated and foster a healthy self-esteem. So, keep a notebook for your child dedicated to recording what you notice in terms of the effort, attitude, qualities and write 5 Descriptive Praises (DPs) for your children each day, and read it back to them. Watch their self-esteem grow.2. Express interest and get involved in your child’s life.Demonstrate curiosity about your child’s passions. Ask them to teach you how to play a game, whether electronic or otherwise. Go to school events and matches. Show an interest in what they’re learning at school.Ask open-ended questions to find out about their interests, beliefs and feelings. Try conversation starters like table topics.So, you may need to schedule some regular time to just hang out with your child one on one. If it’s not in the diary it’s unlikely to happen.3. Connect and communicate by listening more.Help your child feel more connected to you, by supporting them to understand and manage their emotions.When children are angry, disappointed or jealous it is tempting to dismiss, ignore, advise or try to change how they feel in order to change their behaviour, or because we feel validating their feelings may be indulging them. We need to accept their feelings first, so we can help them process those feelings.So, make time to listen and acknowledge what your children are saying and feeling?Key Area 4The Balanced Parent1. Keep assessing your child’s temperament and needsYou’re doing a great job, and just keep being mindful to knowing your child’s temperament.Temperament is that range of in-built traits that define how your children interact with the world. Understanding and accepting your child’s make up, allows you to provide more effectively for his needs. We can’t change their temperament, but we can help them develop better responses.So, keep checking that you understand their temperament and their needs at each age and stage of development.2. Expand your warmth and love with the Golden BookFocus on what they are getting right, and start to notice and mention small steps in the right direction. Identify the quality shown by the behaviour. Acknowledge effort, improvement and strategies, not results. According to the Gottman Institute, we need to hear 5 positives for each negative comment in order to build a good relationship between parent and child. Positive comments also help children feel good and be motivated and foster a healthy self-esteem. So, keep a notebook for your child dedicated to recording what you notice in terms of the effort, attitude, qualities and write 5 Descriptive Praises (DPs) for your children each day. Make it a daily ritual to read it through with your child at bedtime, and if you have a teen, still keep the notebook and leave it lying in a common area for them to look at.3. Practice radical self-care as you are the most important resource for your family.Your physical, intellectual, social and emotional wellbeing forms the foundation for a happy family. Taking care of yourself, and your couple relationship, is not being selfish or self-indulgent. It is your responsibility to ensure you are in a calm space to allow you to parent in a calm, connected way. So, compare yourself to a bank account and make emotional deposits in order to keep yourself from becoming emotionally spent. Micro moments can have macro impact.Call to Action 1So having taken the parenting quiz, and listened to your personalised video, it may be that you are already practising positive parenting and my report confirms that you're on the right track, or you may be a little intrigued about how you can develop your skills and the impact it can have on your children.If you've just signed up to my email list, I'll be sharing with you over the next few days some more ideas and parenting tips. If this is not for you, then please feel free to unsubscribe.However, if you're curious about how positive parenting can help your child, then I invite you to explore more in my 30 DAYS TO POSITIVE PARENTING COURSEFor an investment of just £3 a day ( the price of a cup of coffee) less than 5 minutes of your time, you’ll receive a daily video with a life changing parenting tip. It’s achievable yet effective, designed for busy parents just like you, who want to change their parenting style with pragmatic tips and bitesize exercises - simple but impactful.Curious? Click here to find out more.Call to Action 2So having taken the quiz, and listened to your personalised video, it may be you are already practising positive parenting, and my report confirms that you're on the right track, or you may be a little more intrigued about the world of positive parenting.If you've just signed up to my email list, I'll be sharing with you over the next few days some more ideas and parenting tips. If this is not for you, then please feel free to unsubscribe.But if you're still curious about how positive parenting can help your child, then I invite you to explore more in my 30 DAYS TO POSITIVE PARENTING COURSEHowever, if you're serious about investing in your family, open-minded to learning, and are ready to commit to improving the quality of your family life, check out my next HARMONY AT HOME COURSE, as dedicating time to work on your parenting may be the greatest investment you ever make.And if you want to have a chat about my SIGNATURE COACHING PROGRAMME, I invite to you CLICK HERE to book a free call with Elaine.Curious or Serious? Which are you?Type 1%Type 2%Type 3%Type 4%Testimonial 1“The Parent Practice are probably the 8th wonder of the world. Their classes are very comprehensive and taught in an intuitive and effective way. The learnt and easy to apply concepts provide you with a powerful tool kit that will have a huge positive impact on the relation and interaction with your children. Daily tensions ease and the family becomes happier as a whole.”— KAY, MOTHER OF THREE CHILDREN, 8, 5 AND 3 Testimonial 2“Elaine, I can’t thank you enough for all your support. In hindsight, the ADHD diagnosis should have been obvious to all. Sadly, I think there are a lot of parents, like us, that just keep coping as best they can at such a high cost to their families. The Parent Practice has changed our lives though. So a big Thank you for being part of our lives.”— JESSICA, MOTHER OF 2 CHILDRENOverall Total NumberAdd in ALL questions below. This will simply add up all questions and give a total number of points for all. Overall Current PercentageCreation note: Change "40" to the number of total points available in this quiz. E.g. Total of 6 questions is 4x6 = "24". Total of 8 questions is 4x8 = "32". etc All topics have 100% scored - MessageDont change Label Final score is LowDo not edit me. Final score is MediumDo not edit me. Final score is HighDo not edit me. Key Area(s) of Improvement Title